Dear Lonely Boy,
I know that you have been crying yourself to sleep for the past few weeks. You felt that you had lost your meaning and purpose in life. You are just non-existence in this big world that filled with sorrow and hatred.
You began to lose hope and an old friend visited you each night. He tells you of the sweet release to him, that it was better for you to do so. You will not be missed as you are insignificant to make such a difference.
Then, the devil came and seduces you to do his bidding once again. It’s tempting to go back to old habits when you have such an urge. You longed for that ecstasy rushing through your body. You felt that you need it, that you deserve such punishment. For all, you are the one who’s brave enough to do his work.
It’s sad how the others around you are ignorant of your suffering. I know you have tried talking to your sisters about your worries. But they all seemed to be oblivious when you told them so. Isn’t it ironic that they said you could pour your heart and soul to them, but now they did not give a damn?
I know that you want someone to talk to about this matter openly and honestly. But, where can you find that person who you can reveal the darkest corner of your soul? Now, that’s a million dollar question worth answering.
It is a possibility that your experiences made your faith to slowly fade. For how can you trust Him? Where is He when you need Him the most? Despite that, it is amusing that you always hoped and wished for the best for others who are suffering. People said that it’s because He always give the toughest battle to His strongest soldiers. Your reply would be BULLSHIT.
Despite that, you managed to work your way out of it. You sought professional help and changed your lifestyle routine. I’m proud that you avoided the past sins. Maybe you are strong enough to break through these but there’s a hope that all of that came from Him. But, who knows?